Enjoy it while it lasts
by Ritz the freak
Summary: As I got older, I noticed my father had a look in his eye, enjoying every moment. I didn't know he would be immortal, watching the world change as he stayed the same." Alice looks back on her childhood and her parents.
1. Chapter 1

1.

November 22, 1977

"Iris! Jack! Smile for the camera!" Alex Hopkins said, coming into the hospital room. Iris shielded her eyes from the camera, having just had a baby a few hours before.

"Alex, please." Jack said, holding Alice. "Oh come on. I think you should document Alice's first few hours on earth." Alex said. Iris looked up at Alex. As she had been on bed rest for three months and it had been a hard labor for her, Jack had stayed with her for the entire time, even though Iris claimed she hated him for having sex with her in the first place.

"Alex, can I see your camera?" Iris asked weakly. "Alright, sure." Alex said, giving the camera to Iris. "Okay then, I'm gonna film everyone. Then there's Jack, there's Alice, my little girl, then there's me throwing the camera." She explained, throwing his camera out the window. "That was nine hundred quid!" Alex exclaimed. "Bill me later." Iris said, laying back down. Jack was laughing, getting up with Alice in his arms. "Where are you going?" Iris said nervously. "It's okay, I just want to take her for a walk." He said, taking Alice out to the hall. Jack sat down in a waiting area, holding his daughter.

For some reason, he felt he needed to be with his daughter alone to really register that this little life was part of him. He watched her wiggle in her sleep, her little arms stretching out in this new space she now had. He remembered feeling Iris' stomach, Iris' hand over his as Alice kicked them both. "Hey, this is your Dad." Jack whispered. Alice's face turned in his direction. Her eyes were silt open as Jack watched her. He glanced at a hint of blue, blue like his eyes. She already had a patch of black hair on her head, the doctors saying it would fall out in a few days.

Alice did something Jack imagined never happened with babies. She smiled at him, squirming.

"That's just gas." A nurse said, making Jack jump. "Gas?" He sounded amused. Or course Alice would have gas, she was only an infant. "Yep, so many parents try to say their kid smiled at them, but it's just a reaction to letting it out. Sorry bout that." The older woman said. "Where's her Mum?" She asked. Jack looked up. "Oh, in her room. I just-"

"You wanted time alone with her. I understand. With all the hustle and bustle around with family, you must want a break. Too bad your wife doesn't get that time, stuck in that bed with her cunny in absolute pain, unless she had a nice c-section. Any luck?" Jack shook his head. "No, she had Alice, just like anyone else." Jack answered.

"And we don't have family coming. Neither of us have been close to our family since, well, birth." He said, getting up. "Get her back to her Mum, she looks like she'll be hungry soon." The nurse stood up. "And get in touch with at least HER Mum. God knows any woman would love to know she's a grandmother."

"Jack, did you take her out for ice cream or something?" Iris said, sitting up. Jack noticed Alex was gone as he crossed the room, sitting at the foot. He handed Alice back to her mother, Alice's head nestling on her mother's breast. "She's beautiful." Iris breathed, opening her shirt.

The same nurse came in. "Oi! You two seem like you'll be alright with little-" "Alice" Iris supplied. "Right, Alice. Anyway, visiting hours are over. Don't have any of your friends over here for a while. Be a nice change for both of you." Iris smiled at the older woman. "Thanks"

The nurse glanced at Alice, who was calmly sucking at a nipple. "She looks like her mother. Break some hearts some day." Iris giggled. "Thanks for giving us something to obsess over as parents." the nurse left, mummering about new parents. Jack gave Iris a kiss, getting up from the bed. "Well, looks like I should be going then. I'll see you girls tomorrow morning." Iris grabbed Jack's hand. "Jack, please. Stay with me." She begged, Alice nuzzling against her mother's chest as she fell asleep. Jack smiled, getting back in bed. Iris scooted over so he could recline next to her, moving their daughter between them. "You should get some rest. You really worked hard today." Jack said, kissing his lover's forehead.

"Sorry bout what I said in the delivery room." Iris said, her head on Jack's chest. Jack chuckled, holding his daughter's tiny foot in his hand, counting the toes. "It's okay, I would have done the same." Iris smiled, falling asleep in Jack's arms.

"You're sure you can go home?" Jack asked nervously as Iris was putting her jacket on. "Jack, the nurses said there's nothing wrong with me or Alice. I don't see why we shouldn't go home. Jack looked to his daughter in her carrier, who at four days old was the hardest sleeper Iris or Jack had ever met. As Iris checked herself out, Jack was putting Alice in her car seat. "Twentieth century technology is one of the most progressive centuries but they can't invent a car seat the can be installed in under an hour?" Jack grumbled. Alice was in the back seat, whining at the cold air.

"Sorry hon, I know it's taking a while." Jack said, strapping what he hoped was the last strap. Iris was coming towards them as Jack finally got his daughter into the car seat, without head trauma as Jack had envisioned. "Is everything put in?" Iris asked, testing the straps. "I think so. Lets get her home." Jack said, both of them getting into the car.

"This flat's going to be too small soon." Iris noted as she was changing Alice's nappy. "We have time to look if you want. Alex gave you two weeks leave." Jack noted, looking at the housing listings in the paper. "Really, after three months of bed rest?" Iris noted, putting Alice in a baby swing she had in the living room. The Torchwood team had adopted Alice before she was even born, gifting her parents with enough baby gear so Jack and Iris were good if they decided to have a few dozen more kids.

"I want the house in my name." Iris said, sipping a mug of tea. Jack was looking out the window, turning to Iris. "Why is that?" Jack asked, taking a sip. "If I die, I want the house to go to Alice. I mean, it would be different if we were just-"

"Just what? A normal couple?" Jack said, taking Iris' hand. Iris bit her lip, nodding. "I know. When you do die, I promise I'll take care of Alice." Iris reached over the table, kissing him. Jack kissed her back, pulling her into his lap. As Iris was unbuttoning Jack's shirt, she hissed. "Shit, we can't." Iris moaned. Jack held on to her. "It's okay, how much time do we have to wait?" He joked.

"Six weeks." Iris groaned. Jack groweled playfully, kissing her neck. "Well, we can still enjoy other things." Iris giggled. "God, I love you." She said, caressing Jack's face. Both we interrupted by a thin cry over where the baby swing was. Both scrambled to see what Alice wanted, Iris scooping her daughter into her arms. "What's wrong darling?" Iris comforted, rocking Alice in her arms. "She's hungry." Jack said, trying to unbutton Iris' shirt. "How do you know?" Iris asked.

"I don't know. Just the way she cries." Jack noted. Both parents saw that it worked, Alice latching on to her mother. Iris looked up at Jack. He had a strange look in his eye that she knew too well. It was the look he always gave when he was hiding something from her.


	2. Back to the roots

2.

April 12, 1978

Iris looked out the windows as the train ceased. Alice was in her arms, currently attempting to put her hand in her mouth. "Well Baby, this is where I grew up." Iris said, holding her daughter on one hip while toting her suitcase in the other. As she got off the train, she looked to a taxi she had arranged to pick her and Alice up in. They were the only ones getting off. Iris looked around, seeing the scenery she was raised in.

It was still mostly fields just as she remembered, the spring mist coming over the glen. Iris looked at the landscape as they drove to a hotel. Jack had offered to go but Iris felt she needed to make this trip alone. Alice was looking at the scene with her wide blue eyes, wondering where her father was and what this new place was.

"Lovely place, isn't it?" The taxi driver asked. "Yes, I was brought up here." Iris said, opening her shirt to feed Alice. "Um, don't do that around the village." The driver noted. Iris looked up sharply. "Why don't you shut your mouth? My goddamn kid isn't going hungry because of goddamn modesty." The driver raised an eyebrow, deciding to change the subject.

"Who's family? I was brought up here too." The driver said. Iris looked in the review mirror. He looked young, probably barely hitting his twenties. "I was in the orphanage. St. George to be exact. As if there is a different orphanage." The driver nodded, turning into the only inn in the village. "Need any help Ms.-"

"Peters. Iris Peters." Iris said, getting out of the taxi as Alice fell asleep against her mother's chest. The driver looked her up and down as he took out her suitcase. She looked quite urban in her brown patterned dress, high heels making her look taller. Only her dark circled eyes and tied hair gave away she was a new mother. "Peters, Eh? That's my Mum's maiden name. Are you related to Ethel Jones?" The driver asked. Iris' lips tightened. He was one of her brothers and they had just met.

"Billy?" She tried, guessing as he looked too old to be David. "I am. Billy Jones." Billy answered, holding the door to the inn. "How is our mother?" Iris asked, going into the inn. Billy looked confused. "Our Mum? Look, I know you city people have your notions, but-"

"Billy, Mum never told you about me?" Iris had known for years she wasn't known by her brothers and sisters, but seeing it in person hurt. "Nope, sorry." The innkeeper was coming in, surprised anyone would come at this season.

Iris decided to let it go, smirking at her baby brother. "I'm sorry. Must be the travel bug. I'm just so tired lately. You must excuse me." She searched for anything that connected them. The same eyebrows, the same thin, willowy body, and the same wavy hair, only his was dirty blond, their father's color. He was at least a gentleman, even helping Iris get her suitcase in her room and offering to hold Alice so she could freshen up.

Alice was on the bed, kicking her little feet in the air as Iris changed into a pair of bell-bottoms and a blue t-shirt. She took out a signed copy of _Gone with the wind, _putting the book in her bag for her next visit. She dressed Alice in an adorable white dress, making the little girl laugh as she blew raspberries, attempting to eat her daughter's tummy as she went along. Iris smiled, laying next to the baby. "Should we really have come here Baby?" Iris asked, letting Alice grip her index finger in her little fist. Alice was concerned with putting said finger in her mouth, instead of giving her mother any answer.

"You know what honey, I should have done this when you're older, maybe like six or seven. Sometime when you can say cute things." Iris joked, picking Alice up, raising her over her head, making Alice laugh. Iris laughed with her daughter, pulling her down to kiss her little nose. Jack's nose.

"Feeling better?" Billy asked as Iris got back into his taxi. "Yes, thank you. Can you take me to St. George's orphanage please?" Iris asked. "Sorry, it's not an Orphanage anymore. It's just a convent. A very empty convent." Billy said, driving down the once bumpy road, now paved with blacktop. "I'm having dinner with my mum tonight. Do you and Alice have a place to eat?" He asked. "I'm sure we'll manage at a pub." Iris answered. She wasn't sure if she was ready to speak to her mother yet.

"I insist. Visit your little nun friends and come visit." Billy said. Iris sighed. "Fine then, I'll come over. When's dinner?" She asked. "I'll pick you up from here at six." Billy said, opening the door for Iris. She stepped out, looking to Billy. "You're a beautiful woman. Where's your husband anyway?" Iris went pale, pushing past Billy. "See you at 6." Billy called getting into his car.

Iris shook it off, looking at her old home. The whole place looked more unkempt than usual, the gardens in the front over grown and the stone walls dusty. Iris went to the door, knocking on the door. She grimaced, seeing it was beginning to rain. "Hello?" Iris said, knocking again.

What Iris saw next made her gasp. The nun who opened the door looked sickly and tired but it was the same Sister Alice Iris remembered and loved. The older woman looked Iris up and down, frowning.

"If you're giving us that beautiful baby, you have another thing coming. We haven't had children here in seven years." Sister Alice' voice was lower in her illness. "Sister Alice, don't you remember me?" Iris asked. Sister Alice's eyes brightened. "Iris? Iris, my little flower. Get in out of this rain." Both women hugged, going inside.

"And this is your baby? Give me her." Iris laughed, giving her mentor Alice as she took off her jacket. "Where is everyone?" Iris asked, following Alice into the kitchen. "The social services decided we weren't a good fit to be an orphanage so we were shut down. About four of us are still here. Now, what is this Baby's name?" Sister Alice explained in a flurry, making Alice laugh as she smiled at the baby. "Her name's Alice Harkness. She reminded me of a person I knew." Iris said, smiling. "She's beautiful, just like her Mummy." Sister Alice said.

Iris listened to Sister Alice's remarks on the village as she sipped her tea, the nun holding Alice as they talked. "Have you seen your mother?" Sister Alice asked. "I haven't just yet but I'm having dinner at her place. My brother invited me." Sister Alice's eyebrows raised. "Your brother knows who you are?"

"Not really. He thinks I look beautiful and that my husband is crazy to let me out of his sight." Iris noted. Sister Alice crossed herself. "Your mother was crazy not to tell your brothers and sisters bout you."

"Sister, what was my mother like when she was here? Was she sad to see me go?" Iris asked. Sister Alice spit out her tea. "Um…I don't remember. Want some scones?" She asked. "Sister, please." Iris begged. Sister Alice hesitated. "Oh alright. But take a damn scone. You'll need one after this." Sister Alice took a deep breath, giving Alice to her mother. "Your mother was scared stiff. She came here the minute she began to show with you. It was quite sad, she would play soccer with the fellow orphans. Aside from you, she looked like a normal teenager. You reminded me of her a lot when you were her age." Sister Alice was pouring a second cup of tea, taking out a flask.

"Sister, what are you doing?" Iris exclaimed, watching her mentor put bourbon in her tea. "Oh stop it. Once you get a certain age, you can do what you like." Sister Alice said. She sat down, stirring her tea. "Well, when you were born, your grandfather came to get your mother. That's when things got terrible.-"

"_Ethel, we must do this." Dwight Peters said, dragging his crying daughter though the field clouded with heavy rain._

"_Dad, we can't. She-she can live here." Ethel begged, holding her hours old daughter, the baby crying in hunger. "Dad, I need to feed her." Ethel stopped. Dwight slapped the sixteen year old girl. "You can't feed that little mistake." Dwight said, taking the baby. "Dad, please, I can take care of her." Dwight didn't answer, finally coming to the well. "This is your mistake Ethel. And you'll have to fix it." _

_The air was still, the baby screaming in outrage. Ethel looked to the well, considering what she must do. "Give her to me." Ethel said, numbed by her father's order. Ethel looked at the baby in her arms. She looked like Ethel, already with a black tuft of hair. Ethel kissed her child, ready to do it when-_

"_Put that baby down!" Sister Alice yelled, though the rain. Dwight looked to the young nun. "Sister, one less child can do your orphanage some good." Dwight said. "Mr. Peters, I believe that you were about to murder a helpless infant on God's property. If you and your daughter hope to be saved from the depths of hell, you'll give me that child. I'll take care of her personally." Dwight looked to his daughter. "Well Ethel, will you let your mistake live? She'll go back, she'll come back for you." Dwight noted._

_Ethel sobbed, holding her baby to her chest. "Please, I want to keep her but-" She let out a sob. "I'm just so ashamed." Sister Alice went to the young girl, putting her arms around the girl. They stood there for awhile, both of them getting soaked. "You can visit once a year if you want. We'll take care of her like she was our own." Sister Alice promised, leading the girl back to the orphanage. Ethel was shaking as she finally gave her daughter to Sister Alice. _

"_Good girl, now why don't you have a rest?" Sister Alice said, handing Ethel off to another nun. Sister Alice rushed to the linen closet, grabbing some towels. She went to her room, wiping the cold rain from the infant. The said infant was now asleep, trying to find suck her fingers. "I'll call you Iris. Did you know in Greek mythology Iris was a messenger?" Sister Alice explained, holding the child._

Iris looked to Sister Alice. "Is that really true? My mother tried to kill me?" Iris asked, struck by this notion. "Well, she wasn't the one who wanted to kill you. It was your grandfather. Bastard's stewing in a nursing home right now. Doesn't know his ass from his elbow." Sister Alice was sipping her tea. Iris sighed, shaking as she set Alice down on the floor. She put her face in her hands, absorbing this. "You're not like her. Remember that. I've seen so many children though the years assume that because their parents were monsters, they will become monsters."

Sister Alice flew to the other side of the table, wrapping her arms around Iris as the younger woman let out a sob. "It's okay, it's okay. You're going to go into the bathroom, freshen up, then go to dinner where you'll show your mother how strong you are." Sister Alice encouraged. Baby Alice was pulling her mother's pant leg, wondering why she was crying. Iris gave a final sniff, looking to Sister Alice. "Shit time to tell me this." She said, picking up Alice.

An hour later found Billy's taxi pulling up to the convent as Sister Alice was covering baby Alice with kisses. "Ohh, she looks just like you. God, bring her back sooner or later. She needs to be around her namesake more often." Iris laughed, kissing her mentor on the cheek. "Oh, we never were supposed to have favorites, you little minx." Sister Alice teased, kissing Iris on the cheek. Iris smiled. "I love you Sister. I promise I'll visit." She said, getting into the cab.

"Good visit?" Billy asked as they drove away. Iris looked back, Alice babbling to her mother about what she saw. "What's our-your Mum serving?" Iris asked. "Oh, the usual Saturday roast and veggies." Billy answered. "Lovely, how's your mother anyway?" Iris asked. Billy sighed. "Oh, getting on in years but she's the same sweetheart she's always been." Billy answered, going into the village.

"And your father?" Iris asked. "Still around, just retired from the shoe business. Peter's shoes he ran. Got it from grandpa Peters when he retired and in turn, Dad'll give it to David." Billy turned to Iris. "Though I don't think David wants in much. I do though." Iris nodded as they turned into a cozy house. Iris looked around, seeing the cozy home she had always wanted as a little girl. Alice squealed, seeing a very large dog coming towards them. "Shh darling, it's just a puppy." Iris soothed.

Billy let Iris in, showing a small but comfy living room. A young woman about thirteen was watching TV, laughing at the Brady Bunch. Iris' heart skipped a beat. This must be Helene, her youngest sister. "Helene, we have a guest." Billy said, turning off the TV. Helene groaned, looking at Iris up and down. Iris was also looking. The teen looked like their mother, with her black hair and green eyes. "Pleased to meet you Ms. Peters." Helene said, holding out a hand. Iris held out her hand, shaking her sister's. "Helene, was that a good episode?" Iris asked. "Not so much. It was just Jan getting braces for five minutes." Helene said. "The ideal teen sentence." Iris joked, noticing as Helene smiled she had braces.

"Billy, have you offered your guest anything yet-" Ethel stopped as she came into the room, seeing Iris. Iris smiled. "Hello mother." Iris said. Ethel looked Iris up and down. "Mother, what is this?" Billy asked. Ethel dropped the dish towel she was holding, dropping into a chair. "Iris, my first-born-" Ethel tried. Billy looked at his sister. Iris smiled sheepishly. "Told you I was your sister." Iris said. Billy shuddered. Helene looked at Iris' city get-up, amazed at her cool older sister. "Is that your baby?" Ethel asked. Iris pulled Alice closer. "Yes, she's five months old." Iris said, going towards Ethel. Ethel looked at Alice, who looked back at her grandmother. "She must look like her father. Who is he?" Ethel asked. "He's my lover. We've been together for eight years." Iris said. Alice cooed at her grandmother, seeing an older version of her own mother. Ethel smiled, taking her granddaughter in her arms. She took a deep breath.

"Billy, Helene, this is your older sister, Iris Peters." Ethel said slowly, looking down to coo at her granddaughter. Iris breathed a sigh of relief. The phone rang, Ethel going for it. Helene looked to her sister.

"Where did you come from?" Helene asked, amazed at this woman. "I've been living in Cardiff, I work for the government and that's where I met Alice's father." Iris answered.

"Why isn't he here with you?" Billy asked, crossing his arms.

"We found a house and he's closing on the deal. We're moving in next month." Iris said. "Iris, phone's for you!" Ethel said. Iris went into the small kitchen, squeezing past Ethel who was checking on her roast. "Yes?" She asked. Who would know where she was?

"How is it?" Jack said on the other line. Iris looked to Ethel, who was holding Alice nervously, as if she didn't know what to do with the little girl. "How did you know I'd be here darling?" Iris asked.

"You're very predictable sometimes." Jack answered. "Jack, I don't know what to do. She's holding Alice but she looks like she doesn't know what to do. I wasn't expecting something like this." Iris whispered into the phone.

"It's okay. Are you sure you'll be okay?" Jack was saying. He had wanted to go with her but she wanted him to stay and close on the house. "Are we homeowners yet?" Iris asked. "We'll be tomorrow. I already started packing." Jack said.

"Well, I'll be home tomorrow evening. Alice is really missing you." Iris said, looking to her daughter, who was now being held by Billy. "Do you miss me?" Jack joked. Iris smiled. "Nah, I never miss you when I'm gone." She said. "You're paying for that when you get home." Jack teased. "I hope I do. Now, we're having dinner soon. Love you." Iris said, hanging up. "Was that Alice's father?" Ethel asked. Iris nodded, smiling. "God, I love that man."

"Then why aren't you married?" Ethel asked, taking out her roast. Iris shrugged. "Mother, things are different. You don't have to be married anymore to have a full life." Helene brought Alice into the kitchen. "Iris, Alice smells." Helene complained. Iris smiled, taking Alice. "Well in my time, a woman wouldn't think about living with a man out of wedlock." Iris rolled her eyes. "May I use your loo?" Iris asked.

Iris came out with Alice a minute later, sitting down as the rest of the family was. "Where's dad?" Helene asked. "He's going to be a little late from golfing darling." Ethel answered, serving her children. Iris looked down. This was the life she could have had, sitting here with her brother and sister and having a roast. "Where' Dorothy and David?" Iris asked, putting a napkin on her lap. "David moved to Wales a few months ago and Dorothy is at her job in the shop." Ethel answered.

Their conversation was broken by a door opening. "Is that Dad?" Iris whispered to Billy. "Yup, he must have won at golf tonight." Billy answered. Iris stiffened, having never met her father before. The man came in, a lanky, blond man. In truth, an older version of Billy. Iris noticed already she had his pale blue eyes and his chin. The man came in, glancing at the new face.

"Who's this?" David Jones asked. Iris stood up, shaking. "My name's Iris Peters and this is my daughter Alice Harkness." David looked her up and down. He glanced at Ethel. "She's our-" Ethel nodded, wringing her hands. David looked at his daughter. "You-What are you here for anyway?" David hissed. "Dad- She's just here to-" Billy attempted to defend Iris. "No! You've got yourself with a child and you came crawling back here for money, haven't you?" David said. Iris had her jaw open as she watched her father rant and rave. She had enough standing up.

She slapped the older man, sending him into the counter behind him. "I didn't come here for your damn money! I came because I have a daughter and I never got a chance to know you but I wanted a chance for her. Now, I know if she ever tries to contact you, she'll just be accused of wanting money!" Iris took Alice and her bag. "Fine then. I can see I just don't fit here. And you-" She pointed at her mother. "I was just a fucking mistake. If I was such a fucking mistake, then why did you come every year and claim I would come to live with you! I waited for you!" She was sobbing by now. "I waited for you to come get me. I kicked and screamed every time someone wanted to adopt you because YOU were coming! Well fine!" Iris left the house sobbing, running down the road. Iris stopped, finally sitting on a bench to cry.

"It didn't do that well?" Jack asked as Iris got off the train the next day. "Shut up, just hold me." Iris asked, hugging Jack. Jack hugged her, taking Alice. "Did you miss daddy?" Jack asked. Alice squealed as she was back in her father's arms. Iris smiled at her daughter. "Just wanted you to know, we're now homeowners." Jack said, trying to take her mind off the trip. Iris smirked. "Great." She kissed, Jack, knowing she didn't really care what her mother and father said. She was home now.

"Hey Iris, a little help." Iris giggled, seeing Jack had wedged the couch into the front door. "Darling, you have to turn it." Iris put the box of books down, going to help. The house they bought was quite a nice place. Two bedrooms, one bath and master bath, a cozy looking kitchen and large dining room. The real space Iris and Jack were drooling over was the attic. It was the length of the entire house, something they both couldn't wait to turn into an office and library for both of them.

Alice was in her playpen, watching her parents move furniture as she played with her teddy bear. She had laughed when her father stubbed his toe moving a coffee table, Jack making a funny face at her. "I swear, she loves the place already." Iris claimed, setting up their dishes in the cupboards. She glanced at Jack, giggling at him. He looked so out of place, wearing a muscle shirt that was covered in his sweat. Iris looked no better, all dusty from cleaning cabinets. Iris went to Jack, kissing him. "What do you say we get all this in the place, set up Alice's crib and our bed, put Alice down for a long nap, then wash all this grime off?" Iris suggested. Jack smirked at her, taking her chin in his hand.

"Some housewife you are." Iris opened her mouth, lightly slapping him. "I won't stand for this Mr. Harkness." She teased, kissing him again. "That's captain to you Ms. Peters." Jack growled, kissing her back.


	3. If stay here with you

3.

January 1980

"Jack, where are we going?" Iris asked. Jack didn't answer, only taking another left turn.

"Mum, hung'y." Alice whined from the back seat. Iris looked back to her daughter, pulling out a cracker. "Here you are darling." Alice happily ate as her parents drove in silence. This whole thing started when Iris had asked Jack if he ever had other children. Jack had refused to answer, leaving Iris to rant at the night before.

"_You know everything about me but I can't know about if I'm a step-mum. This is ridiculous Jack!" _She had yelled the night before. Jack said, nothing only leaving their house. Iris woke up the next morning with Jack standing over her with some clothes. "Wanna meet Alice's brother?" He had asked.

Iris' heart sank as Jack parked close to a nursing home. Of course Jack's child would have aged. Iris followed Jack, Alice toddling next to her. Iris squeezed her two year old daughter's hand. "Sure you don't want me to hold you baby?" Iris asked.

"No" Alice said firmly, sounding like Jack when he wanted something done. They got to the front desk as Jack was filling out a visitors slip.

"You wanna see Gregory Harkness? It's been a while." The nurse said, taking Jack's slip. "Sorry, I know I should come more often but grandpa says I should stay away from the pretty nurses." Jack said, winking. The nurse blushed, letting Jack and Iris though. "Watch your baby. There's some nutters around here." The nurse advised. Iris compiled, picking Alice up, ignoring the toddler's cries of protest.

Jack turned into a common room, where an array of senior citizens did various activites. Iris shivered, never having been in a nursing home. She noticed most were a little off. One woman was cuddling a doll while one man shouted football scores from twenty years ago. Alice stared like her mother, pointing in confusion. "Mummy, Mummy." Alice was pointing at one man who was attempting to take off his clothes. Iris shielded her daughter's eyes, following Jack to one man who broke Iris' heart.

He was about seventy-five, dressed in a blue bath-robe and pajamas. He was playing with a set of toy soldiers that looked like they could be as old as him. "How are you doing Greggy?" Jack said, sitting next to the old man. Gregory looked to his father, his blank hazel eyes staring.

"Solidiers moving into enemy lines again." Gregory slurred. Jack nodded. "Are they moving on well then?" He asked. Iris saw a resignation in her lover, something that made her want to hold him in her arms until that pain left. Alice was staring at her half-brother, looking at his toys. "Want play." She asked, climbing on a chair. "Darling, these are Gregory's special toys." Iris said gently, hoping Alice wouldn't try anything. Alice looked to her half-brother. "Me play?" She asked, a new thing she learned from her father.

Gregory turned to his half-sister, sizing her up. He suddenly got serious. "You there!" He shouted, making Iris jump. "Take water to the troops." He said, shoving a soldier into Alice's tiny hands. "Alzheimer's." Jack whispered to Iris. Iris squeezed his hand, hopefully reassuring him. "Gregory, do you remember Iris? I told you about her once." Jack said. Gregory ignored his father, trying to pull his troops into war, a permanent childhood. Jack took out something from his coat, Iris seeing a stack of pictures.

"Greggy, remember this? This is your Mum." Jack encouraged, taking out a picture of a woman. Gregory looked up from his troops, studying them. "Pretty lady." He noted. "Yes, pretty. She was your Mum. And this, this is your father." Jack tried, pulling out a picture of himself. Gregory turned to his troops, Alice messing them up in her excitement. "Dad gone. Dad, Dad" He turned violent, waving his arms around. "Dad gone! Dad Gone! Dad Bad!" He screamed. Iris pulled Alice away, letting the nurses deal with the man. She looked to Jack's seat, seeing him gone.

After a few moments, she saw him at the benches outside, having silenced Alice with a lollipop she found in her purse. "Jack." She saw next to him, taking his hand in hers. Her finger intertwined with his as he sat there, staring at the wall. "He's only been like this for a year. Before he would play cards with me and the nurses. I even told him about us when you joined up."

"I'm so sorry." Iris said, tears coming to her eyes. Jack shook his head. "You asked, didn't you?" He said. Alice climbed on her father's lap, offering her spit-covered lollipop. "Sorry baby, but that's yours." Jack said, wrapping an arm around his daughter. Iris wrapped an arm around Jack's shoulder. "What was he like before?" Iris asked. Jack smiled faintly.

"He was in the navy. He navigated the ships and he was quite good at it. He never married, favoring his fellow shipmates for company. He was so full of life before this." Iris squeezed his hand. "He's happy though. He's with his troops." She said. Jack looked to her. "Would you want to be stuck playing with dolls and thinking that your in Torchwood forever?" He said. Iris shook her head, looking to Alice. Soon even Alice would be as old as Gregory and Jack would watch her too.

Iris visited Gregory a few more times without Jack knowing, taking Alice with her each time. Alice enjoyed playing with her half-brother, plowing though the enemy lines as Gregory called for reinforcements. Iris even bought him G.I Joe action figures to play the Germans. Some days, he would sing navy songs as Alice attempted to sing along. Iris would watch them, left out as she was a stranger to Gregory. She wouldn't dare talk about Jack while she was there. The nurses were amused that Iris would visit, assuming she was his granddaughter.

It got to the point Gregory would anticipate their arrival, or so the nurses said. But every time they came into the day room, Gregory would sing a tune, Alice attempting to babble along. Though this didn't last long.

Iris was at her and Jack's office when they got the call, Jack taking Alice to the playground while Iris was writing a report for Torchwood. "Yes?" She asked, taking the phone. She was wearing her reading glasses, her hair in a hurried bun in her work. "Ms. Peters, I'm so sorry." The nurse said, crying into the phone. "What's wrong?" Iris asked, sitting down. Was Alice hurt? Did something happened to Jack? She never assumed something was wrong with Gregory.

"Gregory died in his sleep an hour ago." Iris was numb with shock as she asked them to wait until she talked to Jack. As she hung up, she could hear Jack come back and Alice's joyful screams. She went down to meet them, seeing an adorable sight. Alice was on Jack's shoulders, both her and Jack with an ice cream cone, Alice's cone going into Jack's hair. "Mummy!" Alice cheered. "We were going to get you a cone too but Alice wanted to hold it. The little sprite." Jack said, tickling the toddler. Iris looked grave as she looked to her lover. "Did something happen?" Jack asked.

"I'm so sorry darling." Iris said, hugging him. She whispered in his ear, Jack frozen to the spot. Iris held on as she felt his head on her shoulder, Alice's ice cream smudging her cheek as she held Jack in her arms, feeling his silent tears.

"I hope your father leaves me when I grow old." Iris said to the gravestone, her knees against her chest as she talked. She looked to Alice who was a few stones over, chasing a butterfly. She looked to Gregory's gravestone.

"I used to wish he would stay with me forever but I was selfish for thinking such a thing. When you hope your partner will stay with you, there's always hope maybe they would join you in that afterlife. But your father isn't like that. No, I know he won't join me. Sometimes I hope we'll break up someday, when Alice is grown. So when I grow old and die, he won't see. It won't hurt as badly as watching me waste away." She sighed.

"But I guess you just have to enjoy it. After all, you must have had a good life right?" She glanced at the tombstone next to his. James Miller it read, his partner at sea and at life. "At least you two will see each other." Iris said, pulling a package out of her jacket. She got to work, arranging his solidier toys in his favorite war strategy, the Germans versus the British, British winning every time. Wiping her hands on her pants she stood up. "Come on Allie." Iris called, Alice running to her mother. Holding her daughter's hand, she put a helmet on the child, securely clipping it. She got on her motorcycle, Alice securely in front of her as she drove off. "Lets get some ice cream." Iris yelled over the roar of the engine.


	4. Losing you little by little

4.

October 1982

Alice knew her parent's career was quite different from other parents the day her mother's arm was amputated. And it was all her fault. She shouldn't have gone with that bad man, Mummy had warned her time and time again about going anywhere with strangers. But this man said he knew Mummy and Daddy and he would take her home. What scared Alice and let her know it was not a game was when they were going home, her mother foaming at the mouth and shaking with the poison spilled on her jacket sleeve alone.

"We have to do this. It's her arm or her life." Uncle John had yelled at Daddy, cutting her Mummy's favorite jacket. "Do it" Alice had never seen her father so stern, giving Uncle John permission to cut her Mummy's arm off. Jack picked Alice up, carrying her away. But it didn't stop her from seeing the long scalpel Uncle John pulled out.

It was the first and only time her father spanked her, firmly telling her that she should have listened to them about strangers. "You could have been killed or worse." Jack had yelled at his daughter, scaring the five year old. "We see a lot of bad men here and a lot what to get back at us by hurting you." As Jack yelled at Alice, Alice heard a loud scream. Jack stopped, hearing it too. Alice didn't know that that scream was the sound of her mother's arm coming off to save her life. Jack turned to her, fiercely holding his daughter in his arms. "Don't you ever scare me like that again." Jack whispered, kissing the top of her head. Alice nodded, her snot and tear soaked face against her father's chest. Jack held her for a while, repeating over and over again, "Don't scare me like that." Rocking her in his arms as if she were a baby.

Uncle John let her into the operating room hours later, holding a long box as he left. Alice didn't understand until she was older that that box contained her mother's arm, put into a cryogenic freezer, her mother's body to join it years later. Her mother looked no different, only an empty sleeve where her right arm should have been and her skin was deadly pale.

Alice climbed on the table, laying next to her mother. "Mummy, Mummy." She said, pushing on her mother's right side. Iris woke up moaning in pain. "Ahh, god!" Iris yelled, arching her back in pain. Alice jumped off the table, Iris sitting up. Iris was breathing hard, laying back down. She suddenly turned to Alice. "Mummy?" Alice tried. "It's okay darling. I'm fine." Iris got up, wincing in pain. "Need more painkillers." She said, standing up. "Mummy, I'm sorry I made you get hurt." Alice said, hugging her mother's legs.

Iris smiled slightly. "Darling it's okay. Just remember not to do that again." Iris groaned, picking her daughter up one-armed. "What happened to your arm?" Alice asked, playing with her mother's shirt collar. "It went to heaven. Uncle John's going to give me a new one I can take on and off if I want." Iris explained, carrying Alice into the Hub's main room. Alice had her head on her mother's chest. She already missed both of her mother's arms around her.


	5. Yes, you look wonderful tonight

5.

_When Jack and Iris first decided to become lovers, they had one issue in mind, to keep their relationship a secret at Torchwood. Alex and Iris had dated when Iris began working at Torchwood, the relationship ending when Alex had asked her to move in. Iris had only been eighteen and just wanted to have fun, not settle down with anyone. Alex was Twenty-four and already thinking about marriage and children. When Jack and her began date, Jack moved slower and like Iris, didn't want to settle down with a family. _

_The day the Torchwood team found out, Jack had come to Iris to get a report written up about a Alien artifact they had found, flirting as he did so. Iris' workspace was a small area, in the corner and secluded in the Hub. Little did they know, thirty years later this would be the workspace of Ianto Jones, the nephew of Iris Peters. Jack had pulled Iris onto his lap as he talked to her, teasing her as he did. "Stop it." Iris whined as Jack bit at her ear. "Come on." He teased kissing her neck._

"_Should I come back later?" Jack looked up, seeing Alex standing over them. _

"_Nope, we're good. What do you need?" Jack asked. The jig was up, both of them knew it. Iris stood up, brushing out an imaginary wrinkle in her shirt. "Alex, I-" "My office. Now." Alex said, pointing in the direction. Iris compiled, going towards his office as Alex glared at Jack. Jack looked at his lover's desk, finding the file he came for. "Oh look, here it is." He said cheerfully, picking up said file. "You know relationships each Torchwood employees are against the rules, right?" Alex demanded. Jack looked up. "They never have been before." He noted. Alex smirked smugly. "I run this place. I can change the rules at will." _

_Jack glared at Alex, standing up. "We're too valuable. Iris is one of our best field agents and I know Torchwood better than you. You wouldn't dare." Jack said slowly, towering over Alex. Alex gulped. "Do you love her?" He asked. Jack was thrown off. "What?" He asked. Alex smirked. "If you love her, then I'll think about allowing you and her to be together." _

"_Of course I love her. You've known me for five years. I wouldn't just have a fling." Jack noted. Alex shrugged. "Fine. I'll ask your girlfriend the same time." He said, going up to his office._

_That night, Jack lay awake in bed waiting for Iris. She hadn't left Alex's office or if she had Jack didn't see her leave. He had to calm himself. Iris was a big girl, she could take care of herself. Jack looked to the bedside table, a picture of both of them taken by a tourist. Iris and Jack were leaning against a stone, both sharing a corndog as Iris had never had one before. Jack smiled at the memory, remembering how she threw up after, deeming corndogs disgusting. _

_Jack sat up on his elbows, hearing the flat door open. He relaxed, hearing Iris' footsteps coming towards the bedroom. "Where were you?" Jack asked, turning on a light. Iris looked terrible, her eyes red and clothes thrown on haphazardly. Iris looked to Jack, forcing a smile. "I was just at a pub and I-I slipped. Now, I've gotta take a shower, I smell awful." Her voice shook as she talked, retreating into the bathroom. "Want me to help you wash?" Jack asked. "I'm fine." Iris assured him, the sound of running water coming in though the wall._

_Iris stood in the shower, sobbing as she scrubbed herself off. Alex had told her she had to prove how badly she wanted to stay with Jack and she proved it in the worst way. There was no way she could tell Jack what happened, after all she said she would do anything to prove her love. She turned off the shower, wrapping herself in a towel. Pulling a large pill out of her pants pocket, she let out one final sob, chocking said pill down. 'At least I won't remember this.' she thought to herself. _

_She came out, slipping into a cool, clean pair of pajamas. Going into her room, she smiled. Jack was sitting up, reading a book by the light of a reading lamp, naked as he usually was when he was in bed. Usually Iris would be just as naked as him but she just wanted to be dressed tonight. Getting into bed next to Jack, she wrapped her arms around his chest, curling up to him like a child. Jack closed his book, looking at his lover. _

"_What's wrong?" He asked, kissing her forehead. Iris shook her head. "Nothing. Just please, hold me." She begged. Jack pulled her into his arms, feeling her shaking. "What happened?" He demanded to know. "Nothing, I was just at the pub and I slipped. That's all." Iris said, feeling drowsy as she got comfortable. Jack shook her gently. "What did Alex do to you?" He demanded. "Nothing." Iris slurred, half-asleep already. Jack shook her again, only to get nothing. "Damnnit, what did you take?" He yelled. "Nothinnnnnggggg" Iris said, dropping into a careless sleep. Jack jumped out of bed, going into the bathroom. The sleeping pills in the cabinet were intact, so Jack knew she didn't try to kill herself. He went to her pants, looking though the pockets. He pulled out the ret-con wrapper, shaking his head. If something did happen, she couldn't even tell him. _

March 1985

"Mummy, why can't I go to meet the queen?" Alice begged, sitting on her parents bed as Iris was applying mascara at her mirror. "Because this is a very grown up party darling. I promise you can come when you're older." Seven year old Alice groaned, her black curls in her face as she huffed at her mother. Her parents were going to meet the queen and she wouldn't even get to watch. "I'll clean my room every day for a whole month." Alice begged.

Iris looked to her daughter, putting on a stern face. "You can't come with us and that's final." Alice had to giggle at her mother, who was never good at giving a stern face to her. Iris' face softened. "Now, how do I look honey?" Iris asked, getting up. She was wearing a very beautiful blue gown, which hugged her lanky body, glittering in the lamplight. The only mar to the picture was Iris' new prosthetic arm, which only hung there as an accessory. Jack was coming out of the bathroom in a tux, fixing the cuff links while Alice watched.

In that moment, her parents looked so glamorous, getting ready to meet the queen. Iris went over to Jack, fixing his collar. "You look so nervous." Jack pointed out, turning Iris around. Iris rolled her eyes at Alice as Jack was helping her with her hair. "When's Brooke coming?" Alice asked. Brooke was a teenager from next door Iris and Jack hired to baby-sit Alice once in a while. She was a lovely girl, mostly just taking the job because she had a big crush on Jack. Both Jack and Iris liked her, the only real issue is they both feared she would go into their office or bedroom and find out about Torchwood.

The phone rang as Jack put a final pin into Iris' chignon. "You look beautiful." Jack said, kissing the back of her neck. Iris smiled, answering the phone. "Yea Alex, we'll be there soon." Iris said, listening to her boss. The doorbell ran, Alice running down the stairs. "Brooke!" Iris heard her daughter yell.

"Better make an appearance handsome." Iris said, covering the phone. Jack nodded, going down the stairs. Brooke had Alice on her back, galloping around the living room. "Brooke, how's school going?" Jack asked, sitting on the couch. Brooke turned around, her acne-ridden face blushing.

"F-Fine Mr. Harkness. Where are you and Ms. Peters going tonight?" Brooke asked. "My Mummy and Daddy are going to meet the queen!" Alice rejoiced, clapping her hands. Meanwhile, Iris was writing down directions to the hotel they were meeting the group at. It was a dinner to honor Torchwood Three for their achievements, something Jack claimed was just something to make the queen look good. "Okay then, bedtime's at eight as usual. We have dinner in the fridge and help yourself to the TV when Alice is in bed." Jack explained, putting his shoes on.

"Once again darling, please don't go in our room or the attic, okay?" Iris asked, coming down the stairs. Brooke nodded, jealous of this older woman who to her had everything, a child, a lover that had looks to die for, and a job that let her meet the queen.

"Emergency numbers are by the phone and Alice-" Iris turned to her daughter, looking very serious. Alice looked at her mother. "Brooke's the boss, kay? You can watch one TV show then no more TV, kay?" Alice groaned. Jack scooped his daughter up. "Be a good girl, okay?" He said, kissing his daughter's cheek. Iris kissed Alice also, both of them proud of their little girl. They let her go, getting into their car. Brooke watched them drive off, looking to Alice. "Wanna watch Bart and Lorry?" She asked. Alice smiled. "Sure." She said, perched on the couch.

"Remember, stand up straight, don't curtsy, and please don't take a picture without asking first." Jack advised as they drove towards the hotel where they would meet her. "Alright, but don't let me forget. We have to get a picture of the queen with one of us for Alice. Maybe Brooke would like an autograph?" Iris noted, checking her makeup. Jack grabbed his lover's hand. "You look beautiful." He assured. Iris smiled. "And you look like Casanova come to life." Iris said, kissing his cheek.

"And the bear went back to the woods. The end." Brooke read, closing the book. Alice was already asleep, her teddy bear in her arms. Brooke smiled, getting out of the little girl's room and closing the door. She went to the room across the hall, opening the door.

Iris and Jack's room was a room that suited both of them, comfortable and intimate. The walls were a cool blue with art prints dotting the walls. Their bed was made, the red satin sheets looking like the ideal place to make love. Brooke shivered, looking at the dresser. Jack's braces were neatly folded on the dresser, a picture of Iris and Jack with David Bowie next to it. The three of them were on a couch, passing around what Brooke guessed was a joint, Jack caught in mid-laugh as Iris was taking a puff.

What Brooke noticed was Iris. She looked so young, about twenty years old. She was beautiful, her wavy black hair that was now usually tied up was then flowing around her shoulders. But Jack looked exactly the same. David Bowie was in between both of them, sneaking a hand into Jack's shirt. Brooke put the picture down, looking into the drawers. Jack's underwear was neatly folded on one side, the other side Iris' underwear thrown anywhere. Brooke smirked, taking a pair of Jack's boxers.

She giggled, looking though another drawer to find socks. She sighed, flopping down on the bed. She looked under, seeing a wooden box. Pulling the box out, she flipped open the box. She gasped, seeing a variety of sex toys and a pack of condoms. She pulled out a purple ring with an electrical cord hanging from it. "What does this do?" Brooke asked herself, plugging the cord in. She jumped, the ring vibrating in her hand.

"I told you not to be so stiff." Jack said, driving home from the hotel. "But Jack, she told my fake hand to shake." Iris explained. The dinner had gone well, until they were formally introduced. The queen had made the mistake to take Iris' fake arm for a handshake, the arm falling off. Iris had been mortified, everyone else laughing as she could do nothing but attempt to clip the arm back on, a horrified queen watching her.

Though the team had been honored, all of them were embarrassed by Iris' arm coming off except Jack, who always looked unruffled. Iris sighed, taking off her fake arm as she cuddled up to Jack who was driving. "It'll be alright" Jack assured her, driving towards the docks.

"I always love coming down here." Iris noted as they walked along the docks. She sighed, remembering almost fifteen years before when they had walked these docks the night she moved to Cardiff. Jack was looking up at the stars, his arm around Iris' shoulders, most likely thinking of the same thing. They walked like this as they had been for years, watching the stars. They found a place to sit down, both of them taking off their shoes to dip their feet in the water. Jack was taking something out of his jacket, making Iris look. "I wanted you to have this."

Iris gasped, seeing a ring box. "This is for me?" Jack chuckled. "Is there anyone else here?" He answered, opening the box. It was a ring with a blue-white stone that Iris couldn't name. With as shaking hand, she put the ring on, admiring its light even in the night. "Is this-"

"Yea, it's from the stone we found last year." Jack said, admiring it. Iris squealed, throwing her arm around him in joy. "Oh thank you darling." She said, ready to cry. Jack wrapped his arms around her, catching her lips in his. Both of them laid down on the dock, Jack on top of Iris as they kissed. They broke away, looking at each other for a moment. "I'm really, really glad you found me." Iris blurted out.

Jack chuckled as he kissed her again. "I'm glad too." He reached under Iris, unzipping the dress zipper down her back. "Jack, what are you doing?" Iris said in surprise. "Shh, we haven't done this in a while, eh?" Jack said, taking his jacket off. Iris growled, reaching up to undo his shirt. They had made love in public places many times before, but they had stopped when Alice was born. But now, loosened by fine champagne and their own desire, they decided to go ahead and do it.

Iris and Jack came home two hours later, laughing hysterically, their clothes mussed up. "Did you see the look on his face?" Jack said, cracking up. "He must have been watching for a while, lets admit it. Though you were a little impolite, asking him to wash before joining." Iris giggled, her hair now hanging down her back. Both of them looked to the living room, not seeing Brooke at her usual perch on the couch. They looked at each other, quickly sobered. "Oh shit." They said at the same time, running up the stairs. They checked on Alice first, who was sleeping like a baby, as she usually did. Iris stopped at her daughter's room, pulling Alice's blankets around the little girl. She kissed her child, Alice smiling in her sleep.

"Brooke!" Iris heard Jack yell. Iris ran into their room to find Brooke in their stash, having looked though the box under the bed. Brooke was frozen, looking at her employers. "I'm sorry, I was just curious." Brooke stammered. "Darling, we told you not to go in here." Iris said evenly. Brooke shook her head, beginning to cry. She dropped the box, running out. Iris followed, catching the young girl when she was on their steps.

"Its okay honey, we're not mad." Iris soothed. Brooke couldn't stand it, sobbing in her shame. "I-really-loved-" Iris sighed, wrapping her arm around Brooke. "I understand darling. It's okay to be a little curious sometimes." Brooke broke away. "Really?" She asked. Iris nodded, taking a bundle of money from the bodice of her dress. "Now, take this money for watching Alice, go home, and we promise we won't talk about this night if you promise to never mention this, okay?"

Brooke took the money, nodding fiercely. Iris smiled. "That's a good girl. Now go home. Your mother will be worried." Brooke hugged the older woman, running home.

"That wasn't very funny." Iris said, trying not to laugh as she came in on Jack on the bed, laughing. "Oh come on, you know it's funny." Jack encouraged. Iris broke down, finally laughing. "Yea, it is kinda funny." She said, falling on top of him. "She must have seen the Bowie picture." Jack commented.

"Great times, eh?" Iris said, getting up to take off her dress. They had had a three-some with David Bowie one time, having run into him clubbing. It had been a fun night, Jack and Iris didn't even remember half of it. David even still wrote, telling Jack and Iris the times he would be in Cardiff, with invitations to repeat the night, Iris and Jack only accepting two of those invitations. The last time was about five months after Iris lost her arm, Bowie finding her plight somehow exotic, inviting the Harkness-Peters family to spend a weekend with him.

Iris meanwhile was getting into bed as Jack was brushing his teeth in the bathroom. As Jack came in, Iris was engrossed in a book, her reading glasses perched on her nose. She watched from the corner of her eye as Jack came into the bedroom, getting into bed. She felt so comfortable around him, something that she had never felt as a little kid. When she was Alice's age, there was always the threat of someone adopting her, carrying her away from the security she felt around Sister Alice.

Iris sighed, putting her book down and taking off her glasses. Jack was nodding off to sleep, Iris wrapping her arms around him so his head fell on her chest. Jack nuzzled to her, smiling as he was falling asleep. Sometimes that smile made Iris wonder what her lover was dreaming about. A mother's touch? A fond childhood memory? Iris ran a hand though his hair, giving anything to know just a little more about him.

"Doctor," Iris almost thought she was dreaming, lifting her head to hear more. Jack squirmed in his sleep, something bothering him in his sleep. Iris held him closer. "Shh, it's alright." She soothed.


End file.
